


My Sister

by Spooky66



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s03e02 Paper Clip, Episode: s07e17 All Things, Episode: s07e22 Requiem, Episode: s08e021 Existence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky66/pseuds/Spooky66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am thinking of doing a short series of drabbles about different times Dana misses her sister. I have two sisters that I live away from and I miss so I guess this is kind of a tribute. Hope you enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Sister

Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files

 

My Sister

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the grass was so green and the skies so blue it made everything look even more colorful. Melissa lay in the grass looking up at the sky that was filled with beautiful white fluffy clouds. I was running from Charlie and his squirt gun running to the kiddy pool to fill my own back up. Bill surprised everyone by grabbing the hose and spraying water all over the place. It all sprinkled through the air making rainbows in the sky. I laughed and danced in it with Charlie, our gunfight forgotten. Melissa on the other hand shot up and ran at Bill full speed.

"I'm not in my bathing suit Bill!" She screamed and pushed him.

Bill was ten and only two years older than her but he was much bigger and her push didn't move him an inch. He just laughed and proceeded to point the hose right in her face.

I heard my sister scream and ran over to assist. She was covered in water and trying not to laugh. At six years old I was ready for a knock down drag out fight and ran at Bill with my head like a battering ram. I hit him right in the stomach and it seemed to knock the wind out of him. Melissa and Charlie laughed out loud as I ran for my life before Bill could regain his breath.

"Dana! I'm gonna get you!" He shouted still somewhat short of breath grabbing a water gun. He started to chase me around the house. Missy and Charlie decided to arm themselves as well and ran after Bill shouting meaningless threats. We all chased each other in circles until we finally ran out of energy and fell back into the grass causing many a dandelion fluff to rise into the air.

Melissa took my hand as we all finished our laughing.

She pointed to the sky,

"Look Dana," She said, "It looks like a butterfly."

I looked up but found that the sky had turned black. I looked to my left and found my brothers to be gone and the ground turned to dirt. I looked to my right and there was a grown Melissa lying dead, hand still holding mine.

I woke up screaming covered in sweat. I looked around realizing I was in my apartment alone and began to cry. I don't know how long I cried but it was long enough to make my eyes, cheeks, and nose sore and red. When I calmed down a bit I turned to look at the clock that read 5:43am.

'What's the point of trying to go back to sleep.' I thought but my tiredness argued that if I did not get more sleep I would have a bad day.

My head was pounding so I got up to take some Tylenol. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and hated the person who stared back.

All that I could think about way my sister's body lying on the floor of my apartment left alone to die. I felt like crying again but it seemed all my tears had dried up.

Missy was my best friend. All of my childhood memories included her but because of me she was taken from the world. Taken from me. When I heard of her condition I began to pray to God that we could trade places. I belonged on that bed, not her. That bullet was meant for me. I knew what I had gotten into and I knew that by continuing my work I was making enemies but Missy had not asked for any of this. What did she die for? This elusive 'truth' that Mulder and I had still not found?

I made my way back to my bed and lay down. I took the picture next to my bed and looked at it. It was Melissa and I around the age from my dream. We were at a playground near our house Missy sitting on top of the monkey bars that I was dangling upside down from. For some reason I remembered the day it was taken so clearly. We had gone to the park for a family picnic. Mom made sandwiches for us and brought cold soda and brownies. Our childhood dog, Star, was hooked up to a tree far enough away that she couldn't get into the food. As soon as we finished eating my dad had taken the boys to the field to play baseball. I ran right away to the jungle gym yelling for Missy to come too. We played pirates and astronaut and mermaids for hours. Mom had somehow managed to get us to sit still for a moment to take a picture.

I felt the ache in my chest rise and held the frame close to my chest.

"Missy I am so sorry that you had to die in this quest. I am sorry you died in my place. I wish more than anything that I could have you here with me right now." I began to talk to her like I did sometimes when things got too hard. "I know you probably already know but I was diagnosed with brain cancer a week ago. Only Mulder knows right now. If you were here I would have taken you with me to the doctor when I found out. You would have held my hand and suggested all kinds of new age treatments that could cure me." I laughed through my new tears. "You would have dragged me to some hippy store and bought crystals, incense, different kinds of oils and all that crap. You would brew special tea and pray-Indian chants over me. God, I miss you." I sniffled and reached for a tissue discarding my wet old one into the growing pile next to me. "Don't worry about me. Who knows I might be with you soon. That is one plus right? Mulder is taking care of me. I'll tell mom and the guys soon but I just don't want to upset them so much yet. You would be telling me that I am only holding it back from them because I don't want them to tell me to stop working. They would tell me to sit back and get treatment and would look at me with sad eyes. You know me so well. You would tell me that is the real reason. I hope you are happy though. Wherever you are I hope you are there with dad, grandma and grandpa, and Star. I miss you."

I blew my nose one last time and deposited the tissue into the pile that I would take care of in the morning. I fell asleep holding the picture of us to my chest thinking of warm summer days filled with laughter and playing and my sister.


	2. My First Call

My First Call

When I got back to my apartment wearing the same outfit I was last night it all hit me. Mulder's kisses and all of our feeling spilling out as they let out 7 years of pent up passion. I leaned back against the door and slowly sunk to the floor with a hand over my face. Suddenly a wave of giggles took over me and I started to laugh unable to keep the smile from my face. It was all very unlike me but I felt my heart bubbling over.

I got up quickly 'I have to call Melissa!'

Half way to the phone I remembered that she had been gone for years. These days I had learned to get through most of my days without thinking of her but every once in a while something like this would happen and I would just forget.

I then realized I had no one to talk to about it. I remembered the long nights as teenagers when the two of us would stay up late talking about boys and giggling. I remember telling her all of my firsts. She was always the person I told these things to. Who did I have now?

Who do I have to call and talk about how wonderful it is to be with the one you love? All of the excitement and girlishness that I had felt moments before were replaced by a feeling of emptiness.

I had not had girl friends for a while now. The deeper I delved into the X Files the more I felt unable to relate to people. Melissa, however, had always listened and loved all of the crazy stories. Much like Mulder she jumped to the most extreme conclusions and believed 100% in all of the unbelievable things I would recount.

I had made it this far without her but things were changing. They had been changing for a while both Mulder and I had known that this step in our relationship was coming. I had been feeling things I had not felt since I was a teenager. These are the kind of things that women are supposed to be able to talk about with a girl friend or sister.

If Melissa had been alive she would insist that tonight be set aside so she could bring over wine, ice cream, and some romantic movie and sleep over. She would want to hear it all in full detail. She had always had no shame in talking about such subjects and would ask me questions that would make me blush but she would always somehow get it out of me.

I found myself smiling again as I lifted myself up to get ready for bed. After my shower I walked to my dresser and picked up a framed picture of Melissa and I that was taken only about a year before her death. We were smiling and both wearing silly Christmas hats holding glasses of eggnog.

I sighed and smiled.

"Hey Missy. I know you are listening. You always are. I just wanted you to know that… I am going to be alright. I am in love. I have been for a while really. I don't have you here to ask me stupid questions about size and positions. I don't have you here to listen to the things he said that I needed to hear so bad I cried. I don't have you here to give advice about big and little things and to laugh with me over how amazing it all is. These are the times I miss you the most Missy. I will be alright but a piece of me will always be missing because you are not here."  
I put the picture softly to my lips and laid down, the feeling of butterflies and happiness filling me once again.


	3. My Big News

Disclaimer: X Files=not mine

My Big News

"Congratulations Ms. Scully you are pregnant!" The doctor said smiling at me.

"That is impossible. I am infertile." I said keeping my emotions in check.

"Well you can look at these results if you like but I have no doubts that you are expecting. I know your history and that it should be impossible and I have no explanation but the tests don't lie." He shrugged and excused himself after handing over my chart and the test results.

I sat there reading them as I read I knew it was true. All evidence pointed to it and something in me just knew.

I tried to still my heart and keep my hopes low reminding myself that this is impossible. But I have already seen so many impossible things. Mulder's words ran through my mind, 'Never give up on a miracle.'

Had the two of us accidentally created a miracle or was this child some sort of experiment created with evil intent? An image of Emily ran through my mind and I shook my head as if to rid myself of that memory. Before I had more time to process Byers opened the door softly, "Agent Scully? Can I have a moment?" he asked politely.

I smiled at him trying to hide my fear and excitement and nodded.

He looked worried and I could tell he was struggling with a way to tell me whatever news he had, "Well…. Umm… I received a call from A.D. Skinner a few minutes ago." He paused and I instantly felt ill and light headed again, "They, uh, had some trouble in Oregon. The two of them were out in the woods and Mulder went off by himself. Skinner said he became worried after a time and yelled for him but just saw a bright flash of light. He said he saw…" He paused again lost for words.

"What? He saw what?" I said harsher than I meant to.

"He saw some kind of space craft. A large one coming out of the clearing where he saw Mulder go. When he went to find Mulder he found nothing. He is convinced that Mulder was taken on that ship. Abducted." He said the last word softly.

I shook my head, "No. No he is just missing. They need to be out there looking for him!" I began to get out of the bed but as soon as I tried to stand I started to fall. Byers ran by my side to help me.

He looked me right in the eyes, "Dana he is missing. They are looking still but he was abducted. You need to stay in bed. Before he left Mulder made us promise to keep an eye on you. With the state you are in you will be no help to them."

"He is out there! They didn't take him we need to find him!" I yelled trying to loosen his grip on my arms. At my yelling his cohorts ran in but just stared in surprise as I crumpled into tears. "No…. No. This isn't real."

It took me a long time to calm down. The Lone Gunmen sat by me and spoke comforting words and cracked jokes. I was not cheered up but I was finally able to catch my breath. When I was stable again I asked if I could have some time alone. The guys left respectfully but I knew they would be waiting outside the door in case I decided to bolt. I was not going to. I couldn't leave. I was tied to this bed and I would be tied down for the next nine months. If all this was real that meant that I would need to put this baby and myself first.

I missed Mulder. I needed him here. In my heart I knew this was his child and the thought of raising our child without him was a thought that made me want to just curl up in bed and never leave. What if he was gone? What if we never found him?

My thoughts turned to my sister as they often did in these types of situations. Not that a situation like this had any context. If she were here she would cry with me and hold me. She would not expect me to talk about it and she would not try to find solutions, she would just sit with me as long as I needed her.

My tears had just started to dry but I already felt more coming. She would have distracted me in the months to come by looking through baby names and picking out tiny outfits. She would probably have started sleeping on my couch insisting that I not be alone. She would take me to a shaman and spiritual healers. She would probably have taken me to some sort of psychic in an attempt to try to contact Mulder.

I had never needed my sister so much. I knew that even though Mulder was not here I was not alone. I have my mother and my brothers, I had Skinner and the Lone Gunmen but I didn't have my sister.

I was always more of a tomboy as a girl but I still played house with my sister from time to time. I still had baby dolls and would imagine what it would be like to be a mother. The two of us would think up elaborate stories and go on adventures with our baby dolls tied around our chests imagining we were mothers out of a fairy tale. I knew that I would have to take this adventure without her. I put my fingers to my necklace and prayed a silent pray to God and Missy for strength knowing I would need it for the months ahead.


	4. My Delivery

Disclaimer: I don't own the X Files and, trust me; I am not getting paid for this.

 

My Delivery

I lay in an abandoned old town surrounded by supernatural beings while trying to push a human being out of my body and I was terrified.

Yes Monica was there to help me but there was nothing she could do against these monsters and we both knew it.

I screamed at them and prayed to God that they would leave me alone. I prayed my baby would be healthy; I prayed that Mulder would come to me; I prayed that I could be a good mother.

Monica had been a rock for me all night and had reminded me so much of my sister that I got a lump in my throat even thinking about it.

If Melissa were here she would have incense burning and would be putting crystals around my neck. She would be chanting soft prayers into my ear and would have probably instead on a tub birth.

Of course that would have been impossible here.  
I wondered for the millionth time what my life would be like if my sister were still around for me to depend on. She had always taken care of me when we were girls.

My thoughts drifted often during labor. I thought of Mulder, my mother, my father, my brothers, and Melissa. I imagined life with this new baby.

I thought of all that he would miss by not having Melissa around as his aunt.

She never got to be an aunt. Both Bill and Charlie had kids after she died and she never got to see them. She will never get to meet my baby.

My William.

The cries of an infant broke through the eerie quiet of the super soldiers watching them.

Monica cut the cord and handed William to me and I took him shaking with the love and protectiveness I felt.

We looked around and noticed that the soldiers had begun to move toward the door. They were leaving!

The sound of a chopper grew loud and seemed to be close. My fear grew and I covered my son and clutched him closer to my bare chest, covering him with a blanket.

His little newborn screams continued and they were like music to my ears.

"I will go see what is happening." Monica said and ran to the door.

I felt her then, my sister. She was there with us in the room watching and had been holding my hand the whole time.

If Mulder heard my thoughts he would have been so excited, but in that moment I just knew it.  
"Melissa, this is your nephew, William." I said out loud to the supposed ghost in the room. I was sure I sounded crazy but I didn't care.

I felt her warmth for a moment and William quieted. I looked down at him and his tiny eyes were opened and looking past me.  
I turned around but saw nothing.

"Scully!"

Mulder's voice broke me out of my trance and I felt the most at peace I had in a long time.

He was here, and everything would be all right.

I could feel the spirit of my sister leaving to give us a moment alone and I said a silent goodbye and thanks as I watched William's father take him into his arms for the first time.


	5. My Worst Moment

After Skinner, Monica, and John finally left I sat in the rocking chair and stared at the empty crib until the pain in my chest became so great that I had to muffle a scream with my knuckle. The tears clouded my eyes as I stumbled into my bedroom and to the bed. I threw off the pillows and dug around frantically until I found Mulder’s worn shirt. I pulled it to my face and tried to gather up the last of his scent but found it gone. 

Mulder’s gone, our son is gone, and now I had nothing. 

I pulled my pillows back on the bed and lay on my side. My mother refused to talk to me when she found out. I don’t blame her. I held the extra pillow in my arms and tried to pretend it was my baby but I still felt hollow. 

When I opened my eyes I saw two pictures, both that brought the tears back. One was the only picture of my small family that will never be. The only one we got before Mulder had to make his escape. 

The other was the same picture that had been on my nightstand since my mother gave it to me at Melissa’s funeral. Us as little girls.   
I wondered what I would say to my young self if I could go back in time. For a moment I wondered if I’d tell her not to join the FBI but the thought of never knowing Mulder was too much. Maybe I’d tell her to not call Melissa, to never give her a reason to be in my apartment. 

And maybe if Melissa lived she’d be here now. Maybe she wouldn’t have let me give up William. Maybe having her near would have given me the courage to take the baby and run away with Mulder. At the very least she would refuse to leave and let me sleep in. 

Melissa would convince mom to forgive me, and she’d never shut me out. 

But none of that is real. The reality is that my sister died years ago, I sent my soul mate away, and I gave my son up. 

I reached into my drawer and pulled out some sleeping pills, knowing it would be a long night. 

I swallowed three and tried to wish away the demons and go to a place where my sister was alive and Mulder and William were safe in my bed.


End file.
